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Home treatment is very important for people who have bulimia nervosa. Individual goals will be set by the person with bulimia, the doctor, nutritionist, and professional counselor. Some of these goals may include:

• Practicing emotional self-care. Don't blame yourself for your condition, pace yourself, and try to spend time with other people who care about you.
• Taking one day at a time. Remember that your goal is to feel better with each passing day.

Family members will also need to support the person's goals for healing. Learning about the disorder will be helpful for the entire family.

• Avoid guilt and self-blame. Do not look for the reason for the disorder. Work toward changing things for the better.
• Show support of a loved one with bulimia. Offer support if they get discouraged about how long treatment is taking. Listen to their feelings.

Bulimia and Emotional self-care and eating disorders

People who have eating disorders are often very critical of themselves. Learning to be easier on yourself is very important.

• Pace yourself if you are feeling weak. Everything you do may take more time and effort. Do not expect to do all the things you want to do right away. Choose what is most important and do those things first. Break larger tasks into smaller ones and do what you can.
• Remember that negative thinking (feeling bad about yourself, feeling hopeless, and thinking you are unattractive) are part of your condition. As you work with the health professionals, you will start to feel better about yourself.
• Remember that it takes time to recover from unhealthy eating habits. Your body needs time to readjust itself. As you begin to eat in a healthier way, you will feel better and have more energy.
• Do not expect too much from yourself too soon. Your desire to have all things in order is probably not achievable. Learn to accept your good qualities.
• Spend time with other people. Do things you like to do. If you do not have any hobbies, try something new and see whether you like it. Resist the temptation to give up on something too soon.
• Do not blame yourself for your condition or try to find out why this is happening to you. It is better to work on getting better than to spend time trying to answer questions that may not have answers.
• Cooperate with the health professionals working with you. Resist the temptation to avoid new ways of looking at yourself and your situation. Learn to accept your good points.

Taking one day at a time with an eating disorder

People who have an eating disorder often become preoccupied with negative thoughts about themselves. It is often hard for them to think positive thoughts. Although it is impossible to stop all negative thoughts, you can reduce these thoughts with a few simple techniques.

• Remember that your goal is to feel better with each passing day. Ask someone you trust to remind you of that when you are feeling hopeless.
• Every day make one positive statement to yourself. For example, say to yourself, “Every day, I am taking better care of myself and my body.”
• Remind yourself that you can do this. Say to yourself, “I am a capable person.”
• Daydream about the fun things you are going to do. Daydream about your pet, someone you care about, or a favorite place.
• Spend time with other people. Get to know them. Do not spend time repeating negative things to yourself.
• Make a list of your accomplishments, such as things you have recently learned, things you have recently done that were difficult for you, or things you have changed about yourself.
• Make plans to do something you have been wanting to do, such as visit a new store or see a certain movie.

Bulimia and Avoiding guilt and self-blame caused by eating disorders

Someone in your family has an eating disorder such as anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, or binge eating disorder, do not blame yourself for his or her condition. Blame only distracts you from what you can do to help the person who has the disorder.

Friends and family members cannot cause a person to develop an eating disorder. Many people who have an eating disorder come from families in which other members have eating disorders or have other conditions such as depression. This does not mean that a family member caused the disorder; it simply means these conditions seem more likely to happen in that family.

You can avoid guilt and self-blame by using the following tips.

• Show support for your family member who has an eating disorder. Say things such as, “I know this is hard for you. You are doing a good job.”
• Don't focus attention only on the family member who is in treatment. Spend time with other members of your family and your friends.
• Remind yourself that this is a long-lasting disorder. It will take time for changes to occur.
• Forgive yourself if you think you said something inappropriate, and forgive your family member if he or she reverts to unhealthy eating behaviors.
• Do not look for the reason for the disorder. Work toward changing things for the better.
• Look at your own eating behaviors and change the ones that seem unhealthy.

Supporting a person with an eating disorder

When a loved one has an eating disorder such as anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, or binge eating disorder and is in treatment, you can show support by:

• Reminding them of your love.
• Trusting them to discover their own way to recovery.
• Trusting they have developed their own high values, ideals, and standards.
• Encouraging them to take responsibility for all their actions, both successes and setbacks.
• Offering support if they get discouraged about how long treatment is taking.

You can also help by:

• Not watching or talking about how much they eat.
• Refraining from urging them to eat or not eat, unless this is part of the plan for treatment.
• Avoiding comparing them with others.
• Listening to their feelings.
• Not allowing yourself to be controlled by their behavior.

If you are having a hard time handling your feelings and your interactions with someone who has an eating disorder, talk with a health professional. Counseling, such as family therapy, may help parents and other caregivers learn ways to encourage healthy eating behaviors in children and teens with eating disorders.

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Reviewed: 03/2006