Relationships

cont. from

The HPD failure to view others realistically is reflected by their difficulties in developing and sustaining satisfactory relationships. Individuals with HPD tend to have stormy relationships that start out as ideal and end up as disasters (Beck, 1990, p. 214). These individuals are unable to tolerate isolation; when alone, they feel desperate and are unable to wait for new relationships to develop gradually (Horowitz, Horowitz, ed., 1991, p. 4). They will idealize the significant other early in the relationship and often see the connection as more intimate than it really is. If the significant others begin to distance themselves from the incessant demands, individuals with HPD will use dramatics and demonstrativeness to bind these people to the relationship. They will resort to crying, coercion, temper tantrums, assaultive behavior and suicidal gestures to avoid rejection (Beck, 1990, p. 51).

Even though individuals with HPD will attempt to bind others to them, they are often dissatisfied with single attachments. They tend to be lacking in fidelity and loyalty; they are seductive, dramatic, and capricious in personal relationships (Millon & Davis, 1996, p. 357). Their interpersonal dependency is not expressed through faithfulness and commitment. They start relationships well but falter when depth and durability are needed. There is a paradox in HPD relationships of coercive dependency and infidelity.

On the surface, in HPD relationships, there is warmth, energy, and responsiveness. Covertly, this behavior is accompanied by a "secretly disrespectful agenda of forcing delivery of the desired nurturance and love. . .manipulative suicidal attempts are examples of such coercions" (Benjamin, 1993, p. 173). Individuals with HPD have a strong fear of being ignored; they long to be loved and taken care of by someone who is both powerful and able to be controlled through the use of charm and seductiveness. They become helpless and childlike when faced with potential rejection (McWilliams, 1992, p. 307).

All people have dependency needs. It is the way these needs are expressed that differentiates personality-disordered individuals. Individuals with HPD tend to express dependency needs in a more uncontrolled, unmodulated, and exploitative manner (Bornstein, Costello, ed., pp. 122-123). Pathological manifestations of dependency needs include intense fears of abandonment, passive, helpless behaviors in intimate relationships, and phobic symptoms aimed at minimizing separation (Bornstein, Costello, ed., pp. 130-132). These behaviors lead to interpersonal conflict, rejection, and isolation which triggers even more pathological expression of the maladaptive responses.

Parents with HPD are inclined to use manipulative behaviors to focus their childrens' attention on parental needs and to evade arduous parental responsibilities while maintaining the appearance of being loving and involved. This can result in exploitation of and failure to protect children from emotional, physical, or sexual abuse.

Benjamin (1993, p. 174) notes that both borderline personality disordered and histrionic personality disordered individuals engage in coercive dependency; however, the coercion and dependency appear simultaneously in HPD and switch from one to the other in BPD. Individuals with HPD mask their control and contempt in a complex combination of neediness and attractiveness.

Issues With Authority

Individuals with HPD will engage in illegal behavior with little internal moral restraint. They are often able to evade negative consequences through the appeal of their interpersonal behavior. They are not inclined to be assaultive, argumentative, or aggressive with authority figures. They are engaging, responsive, and enthusiastic. They frequently tell people they see as powerful, i.e., in authority, how wonderful, effective, competent, etc. they are. For individuals with HPD, misinformation in the service of making someone else happy is fine; that is, they are quite at ease with evasion and dishonesty.

continue: Histrionic Personality Disorder Behavior

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Reviewed: 04/2006