8 Smart Ways to Deal with It
1. Medical ID Card/Bracelet When you were a kid, your mother might
have carried one of those medical identification cards that the Tourette
Syndrome Association sells. Remember those? Some stranger would make a rude
remark, or you’d be having a visible/audible tic in the grocery store, and mom
would flash the card. It might have helped you both in some situations.
If your
tics are quite severe, one of these cards in your wallet is probably
still a good idea, just in case someone seriously misinterprets your movements
or sounds. It’s not for flashing at random strangers, though (and you might
prefer a Medic-Alert style bracelet or pendant for more difficult situations).
For your public outings, we suggest seven more methods for coping with
tics that won’t stay in the closet when you’re out and about:
2. Don’t isolate yourself It’s tempting, especially if you get nasty
remarks and curious looks, but you’ve got as much right to enjoy public spaces
and places as anyone else. In totally public venues like the local library, the
swimming pool, the shopping mall, or the sidewalk, don’t worry about doing
anything special. These places belong to everyone,
and that includes you. Some
“public” places are a bit different, because other people come to them
with certain expectations: upscale restaurants, the opera, that sort of thing.
For these rare exceptions, see below.
3. Bring something attention-absorbing When your mind is totally
focused, your tics tend to recede. Waiting around in a public place might cause
tics to come to the forefront Always carry a book of really hard crosswords,
number puzzles, a hand-held computer game, needlework, sketchbook, an iPod with
the ultimate party mix, or something similarly engrossing, and let yourself
really get absorbed by it. Not only are you less likely to tic, but you won’t
even sense it if you do, and you won’t observe any stares from other patrons
either.
4. Bring a friend If you’re enjoying their company and they’re
enjoying yours, it will put strangers around you at ease. They may notice your
tics, but they’ll also notice that you’re obviously a normal guy or gal with
friends who like you. It’s an automatic icebreaker.
5. Be prepared Think about your current tics, and how you might
minimize both your own discomfort and others’ potential reaction. For a spitting
tic, bring a handkerchief so you can be discreet about it. If you’re sniffing
loudly, try a bit of Vick’s VapoRub or similar strong-smelling ointment under
your nose -- it will change the sensation, quite possibly short circuiting the
tic for a while. If you have complex tics that slow you up, allow extra time to
get into and out of events. If you find that you’re better relaxed after an hour
at the gym or yoga class, schedule your life accordingly. And so on…
6. Prepare others For events where the noise level might not be high
enough to camouflage vocal tics, contact the venue in advance to see if they can
suggest a solution. Perhaps a private box can be arranged (and if it’s a
disability accommodation, there really shouldn’t be any extra cost to you…).
Many movie theatres now have “VIP Seating” for people who like to talk and
canoodle during movies, and “Cry Rooms” for people who want to bring babies.
These facilities can be helpful for you too.
7. Frame your response If someone goes out of his way to be rude, use
your judgment, but don’t be shy about defending your rights. You can reply
directly with an explanation, complain to the management of the venue, or take
your business elsewhere. The only thing you shouldn’t do is take it personally.
You can’t control your tics, but you can raise the level of the dialog, and,
just maybe, add to someone’s knowledge.
8. Seek opportunities Look for places where you can really let go: if
you’re a (young?) rocker, head for loud clubs, rock concerts, that sort of
thing. Other activities to explore include running, skiing, swing dancing,
swimming, bicycling--- all provide wonderful energy outlets.
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Handling Dating
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Reviewed: 03/2006
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